Happy Eostre

No I haven’t forgotten to spell check again, though there should be an accent over one, or may be both of the e’s or is it the o, I don’t know and I couldn’t find the button to put one there any way, what a fail before I even start.

We are of course in the middle of the celebratory season of ‘Eostre’ the Germanic Goddess of dawn, and a fertility Goddess.

Oh we’re not, then we must be in the Jewish celebration of Passover.

No? Then it has to be the Jedi celebration of Darth Vader succumbing to the cream pie bun force.

Christ will I ever get it right, Christ, that’s it we’re celebrating the baby Jesus getting nailed to a plank of wood, getting shoved in a cave for a couple of days, then popping back up again.

Now it has been stated a few times in these pages about my religious thinking, I don’t think it needs to be stated again, but for those who haven’t noticed I’m an Atheist, I’m not somebody who doesn’t believe, but wants their child to go through first communion anyway, in case they feel ‘left out’, left out of what, the piss up in the local, the disgusting baby wedding dress, and the play x box station five thousand (in pink), that they will buy with the disgusting amount of money that will be thrown at them, I am an Atheist.

So let’s be honest, am I just having a moan about not being able to go for a pint on Friday, well it doesn’t help, it’s an antiquated, and frankly biased law which forces me to confirm to what is decided by the catholic church and put into law by a ‘catholic country’.

Sorry I’m wrong there, the constitution states that the state may not endorse any particular religion and guarantees freedom of religion, therefore the no alcohol law on ‘good Friday’, or as I prefer the Germanic name ‘mourning Friday’, is unconstitutional and should be repealed forthwith, or at least before the 1916 Easter, celebrations next year, let’s see.

I also haven’t seen anything in the bible that would give rise to this law. Let’s first go through the whole weekend, and what a weekend it was. And it seems not to have changed much in Ireland.

I’m bored with bullet points so I’ll just do it in paragraphs, old school, right on!

Holy Thursday, or whatever it’s called, the last supper, all the lads go on the piss, end up at a house party and the cops come round and arrest one of you.

Good Friday, one of your mates gets crucified, are you trying to tell me that John, Paul and Ringo, (there was a Ringo wasn’t there), didn’t go on the piss after that day.

Something Saturday, bit of a come down, nothing happens, best just go on the piss.

Easter Sunday, mate turns back up under your sofa, go on the piss to celebrate.

Easter Monday, an excuse for the banks not to open.

Let’s now have a look at the symbols we use in the celebration of this ‘Christian’ holy time, feck it I’ll use the button.

1. The egg, symbol of an empty cave, my arse, totally a fertility symbol.
2. Chocolate, in celebration of some guy, are we having a laugh?
3. The rabbit, fertility, enough said, from the women of Ireland, thanks Ann.

I believe that the only two good things to come out of the Christian religion is the musical ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’, and the fictional movie ‘The passion of Christ’ which beats ‘the godfather’ hands down. Sorry it’s three, the Top Gear Bethlehem Special, will its likes be seen again, Jeremy you shall be sorely missed.

But I have digressed, I know it’s been an almost 600 word digress, but I believe that state and superstition, sorry religion, have to be separate.

If we are a true catholic country, should we not make child abuse legal?

Should we make killing pregnant women legal, oh sorry it actually is.

Should we indoctrinate our children with a heap of nonsense for the sake of some shiny shoes and an institution that denies women an equal place in society, and before you start sharpening your stones Islam, I’m still talking about the Catholics.

Should we go the whole hog and start up the Irish inquisition, nobody would expect that, though we forgave the Spanish theirs because they invented paella, I don’t think Irish stew will quite have the same affect.

Anyway I’m writing this on Good Friday so I’m off down the local for a couple of pints.